“Oh so true”

1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. 3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. 4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural…

Stupid Instructions

In case you needed further proof that the Human Race is rife with stupidity, here are some actual label instructions from various international consumer products. On a blanket from Taiwan: NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO. (Darn, what am I gonna use now???) On a helmet-mounted mirror…

Read the Signs

On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts." Outside a Radiator Repair Shop: "Best place in town to take a leak." In a Non-smoking area: "If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action." On Maternity Room door: "Push, Push, Push." At…

London Underground Announcements

Below are genuine announcements made by tube drivers, on the London Underground. To the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to get on the second carriage, what part of 'stand clear of the doors' don't you understand?" ********************************************************** At Camden town station (on a crowded Saturday afternoon): "Please let…

Travel Agent’s Tales

The following are actual stories provided by (American) travel agents: I had someone ask for an aisle seat so that their hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked,…

Crazy Legal Cases

January 2000: Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000.00 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running amok inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving tyke was Ms. Robertson's…

Movie Humour

Things you would never know without the movies: When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing parade - at any time of year. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach…
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