Categories
Life(style)

Read the Signs

  • On an Electrician’s truck: “Let us remove your shorts.”
  • Outside a Radiator Repair Shop: “Best place in town to take a leak.”
  • In a Non-smoking area: “If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.”
  • On Maternity Room door: “Push, Push, Push.”
  • At an Optometrist’s Office: “If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”
  • At a Car Dealership: “The best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment.”
  • Outside a Muffler Shop: “No appointment necessary. We’ll hear you coming.”
  • Outside a Hotel: “Help! We need inn-experienced people.”
  • At an Auto Body Shop: “May we have the next dents?”
  • In a Dry Cleaner’s Emporium: “Drop your pants here.”
  • In a Veterinarian’s waiting room: “Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”
  • On a Music Teacher’s door: “Out Chopin.”
  • At the Electric Company: “We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don’t, you will be.”
  • On the side of a Garbage Truck: “We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.”
  • On the door of a Computer Store: “Out for a quick byte.”
  • In a Restaurant window: “Don’t stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up.”
  • Inside a Bowling Alley: “Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.”
  • In the front yard of a Funeral Home: “Drive carefully, we’ll wait.
  • A shop owner put this sign in his window, “Lovely glass paper-weights. The best way to keep your household bills down.”
  • Outside a country shop: “We buy junk and sell antiques.”
  • In a repair shop: “We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.”
  • In the window of an Oregon store: “Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?”
  • On a bumper sticker: Keep honking, I’m reloading.
  • In a classified ad: “Vacation special: Have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts.”
  • In a Maine restaurant: “Open 7 days a week and weekends.”
  • At the dry cleaners: “We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.”
  • In the vestry of a New England church: “Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished.”
  • In a Pennsylvania cemetery: “Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.”
  • On a roller coaster: “Watch your head.”
  • In the offices of a loan company: “Ask about our plans for owning your home.”
  • In a classified ad: “Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.”
  • In the window of a Kentucky appliance store: “Don’t kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.”
  • In a New York restaurant: “Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager.”
  • On the wall of a Baltimore estate:
    “Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
    – Sisters of Mercy”
  • Pinned to an Army barracks door: “Shut the door, stupid! Not you, sir.”
  • On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners: “38 years on the same spot.”
  • In a Los Angeles dance hall: “Good clean dancing every night but Sunday.”
  • In a Florida maternity ward: “No children allowed.”
  • Bumper sticker seen on an Austin Mini: “The parts falling from this car are of the finest British workmanship.”
  • In a New York drugstore: “We dispense with accuracy.”
  • On a New York convalescent home: “For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church.”
  • On a Maine shop: “Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship.”

By admin

Dr Bex Lewis is passionate about helping people engage with the digital world in a positive way, where she has more than 20 years’ experience. She is Senior Lecturer in Digital Marketing at Manchester Metropolitan University and Visiting Research Fellow at St John’s College, Durham University, with a particular interest in digital culture, persuasion and attitudinal change, especially how this affects the third sector, including faith organisations, and, after her breast cancer diagnosis in 2017, has started to research social media and cancer. Trained as a mass communications historian, she has written the original history of the poster Keep Calm and Carry On: The Truth Behind the Poster (Imperial War Museum, 2017), drawing upon her PhD research. She is Director of social media consultancy Digital Fingerprint, and author of Raising Children in a Digital Age: Enjoying the Best, Avoiding the Worst  (Lion Hudson, 2014; second edition in process) as well as a number of book chapters, and regularly judges digital awards. She has a strong media presence, with her expertise featured in a wide range of publications and programmes, including national, international and specialist TV, radio and press, and can be found all over social media, typically as @drbexl.

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