This afternoon I will be presenting at Natalie Collins’ Out of Control event, along with a wide range of exciting speakers!

Domestic Abuse in a Digital Age fo #OutOfControl from Bex Lewis
If you download, you should be able to read the notes below the slides.

Content Added in Response to the Day

I scribbed a few other bits of content onto my slides as I was listening to other speakers (and yeah, my timing was a bit shot, but it’s important to go ‘with the room’ sometimes)…


I’m not sure how usable this is, as I recorded this in my pocket. If I’d been thinking more, I would have put it on the speaker stand!!

Review of Natalie’s Book

And here was my review for Natalie’s book:

Out of Control: Couples, Conflict and the Capacity for ChangeOut of Control: Couples, Conflict and the Capacity for Change by Natalie Collins
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I was sent this book pre-publication to review, and to see whether I would endorse it.

Will I endorse it, 100% I will! There are so many people who could benefit from the book. I knew some of the issues already as I have been talking to Natalie on/off for several years, especially about things that concern the digital, but I have learnt so much, and I think domestic abuse is something the church cannot keep avoiding – and Natalie is very clear that the topic is ‘domestic abuse’ and not ‘domestic violence’, because otherwise the focus is on physical violence, rather than emotional abuse, which is often more prevalent/damaging.

The audience of the book includes church leaders (the theological preaching/pastoral decisions that encourage people to stay with abusive partners), although there is a huge amount of information in there for people whose lives are not informed by Christian faith. Another audience includes people who are/have experienced abuse (specifically women in this book), helping them to recognise abuse, how to plan to leave abusive partners, encouraging recovery once abusive partner has been left.

Whether you are an abuse survivor, or someone who is interested in helping those stuck within or escaped from an abusive situation, the book is packed full of the years of knowledge that Natalie has – both from her personal experience, and the work she has been doing for the years since. I found the book hugely informative, albeit with some very challenging examples of what domestic abuse looks like – Natalie does not mince her words, although she also finds space for humour in what is otherwise a very dark topic. You can tell that Natalie has heard it all, and has the research to respond to the challenges and excuses she is frequently given, and challenges the stereotypes.

Overall, I found it powerful, challenging, accessible, informative and very protective of its readers. The book is hugely powerful in accessibly offering space to a very complex topic, at the heart of which are issues of control and power, giving many practical examples, and at the end of each chapter encouraging readers to recognise that they are dealing with difficult topics, and to take time out for some self-care … it’s not necessarily a book to be read in one go, but also highly readable, so you could if you can cope with the heavy content! I turned down quite a few page corners to return to….!!

View all my reviews

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