“Oh so true”

1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. 3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. 4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. 5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before. 6. My idea of housework is to sweep the…

Stupid Instructions

In case you needed further proof that the Human Race is rife with stupidity, here are some actual label instructions from various international consumer products. On a blanket from Taiwan: NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO. (Darn, what am I gonna use now???) On a helmet-mounted mirror used by American cyclists: REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU. On the bottle-top of a British flavoured milk drink: AFTER OPENING, KEEP…

Read the Signs

On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts." Outside a Radiator Repair Shop: "Best place in town to take a leak." In a Non-smoking area: "If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action." On Maternity Room door: "Push, Push, Push." At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place." At a Car Dealership: "The best way to…

London Underground Announcements

Below are genuine announcements made by tube drivers, on the London Underground. To the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to get on the second carriage, what part of 'stand clear of the doors' don't you understand?" ********************************************************** At Camden town station (on a crowded Saturday afternoon): "Please let the passengers off the train first. Please let the passengers off the train first. Please let the passengers off the train first. Let the passengers…

Travel Agent’s Tales

The following are actual stories provided by (American) travel agents: I had someone ask for an aisle seat so that their hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?" I got a call from a woman who wanted to…
1 2 3 5