How To Keep A Healthy Level of Insanity

At lunch time, sit in your parked car w/sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. Insist that your e mail address is: [email protected] [email protected] Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing. Put your garbage can on your desk…

Crazy Legal Cases

January 2000: Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000.00 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running amok inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving tyke was Ms. Robertson's son. June 1998: A 19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000.00 and medical expenses when his neighbour ran his hand over with…

Movie Humour

Things you would never know without the movies: When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing parade - at any time of year. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to the waist level on the man lying beside her. The Chief of Police will…

Beautiful Women

Age 3: She looks at herself and sees a Queen. Age 8:She looks at herself and sees Cinderella. Age 15: She looks at herself and sees an Ugly Sister (Mum I can't go to school looking like this!) Age 20: She looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too short /too tall,too straight/too curly"- but decides she's going out anyway. Age 30: She looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too short /…

Microsoft Cars

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon." In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating(by Mr Welch himself): If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with…