Dear Boss…

1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing. 2. If it's really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That helps. Even better, hover behind me, and advise me at every keystroke. 3. Always leave without telling anyone where you're going. It gives me a chance to be creative…

Cannibalism aka “Get to know the cleaners”

Five cannibals get appointed as consultants in an IT company. During the welcoming ceremony the boss says: "You're all part of our team now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the company canteen for something to eat. So don't trouble the other employees". The cannibals promise not to trouble the other employees. Four weeks later the boss returns and says: "You're all working very hard, and I'm very satisfied with…

Celebrate

A monk his entire adult life, Brother Andrew was responsible for training new scribes in the art of copying by hand -- word for word -- the holy writs. One day an eager new scribe, Brother Jonathan, asked if anyone had ever made a mistake. "Oh no," said Brother Andrew. "These words have always been correctly copied from generation to generation." Skeptical, Brother Jonathan asked Brother Andrew how he knew. "My son," said Brother Andrew…

No Excuses for Church

To make it possible for everyone to attend church next Sunday, my brother Frank's Church is going to have a special No Excuse Sunday. Cots will be placed in the vestibule for those who say that Sunday is the only day they can sleep in. We will have steel helmets for those who say the roof would cave in if they ever came to church. Blankets will be furnished for those who think the church…

How to Handle Your Car

Rules and Regulations ... OF THE ENGLISH MOTORWAYS Please remember that the Highway Code is, in fact, incorrect. The left hand lane of the motorway should remain empty at all times, even when the other two lanes are bunged to the gills with cars. Please remember to leave as little space as possible between yourself and the car in front, especially when driving at high speed (and preferably in the right hand lane) as this…