On The Big Bible Project this morning we ran a story about the hashtag weâre seeking to get going, #HD12, which stands for Hopes & Dreams for 2012.
2011
2011 has been a difficult year. In February 2009 I qualified as a Life Coach, aspects of which have affected much of my practice within work, but also my life itself. Two quotes which stuck with me from the sessions:
- “Thereâs no point painting the wall if it needs knocking down”.
- “Sometimes you have to go through the shit, itâs just a case of finding a way of landing in 3ft, rather than 6ft of shit”.
Shortly afterwards I was put on antidepressants (yes, I know weâre not supposed to talk about that, but how are we supposed to support people in dealing with it if we donât accept that itâs an illness that needs treatment), and started to meet with a counsellor to talk through how my life is the way it is…
Who gets depression?
Itâs partly because I have been told so many times “youâre the last person I would have thought suffered from depression” that I thought Iâd write this …
This Christmas I picked up Christopher Cantopher ‘The Curse of the Strong‘, a book that many others had identified as particularly helpful and this assessment of the ‘personality typeâ that he identifies as most likely to struggle is striking (not the ‘should pull their socks upâ kinda person):
- (moral) strength
- reliability
- diligence
- strong conscience
- strong sense of reliability
- a tendency to focus on the needs of others before oneâs own
- sensitivity
- vulnerability to criticism
- self-esteem dependent on the evaluation of others (Iâm not so sure about that one)

Things need to heal properly before putting too much pressure back on … otherwise relapse, potentially worse, will occur… Currently, Iâm still on mine… it allows me to continue to be Bex…
Failing Well
A couple of great quotes from Cantopherâs book:
Now, whatâs really hard but correspondingly rewarding is to fail well. This means taking on a range of tasks, experiences and challenges, understanding that you will win some and lost some, forgiving yourself your failures and learning from them. This way you develop a life that is rich in texture and free from fear.
followed up by:
While I had succeeded in avoiding failure, he had embraced it, with the result that he had a new skill, at which he was clearly having a great time. In order to achieve success that is worthwhile and wide-ranging, you must first learn to fail well. Every happy person I have met has achieved this. It doesnât though, mean making your life a struggle to achieve the impossible.
Making Decisions
On my Christmas/New Year holiday in Egypt last year I knew I had to make a big decision… not as a New Year Resolution (I donât make those, if life coaching has taught me anything else, itâs that we need to make changes when the time is right, not at some random time in the calendar, although time off in the New Year can help us take time to think) … but moving forward… Iâve made huge steps in 2011… but Iâm not good at congratulating myself! In many ways, I should congratulate myself that I managed to have nearly 6 days doing ‘nothingâ over Christmas, but instead Iâm looking at what I still havenât finished for 2011, and stressing about 2012!
So, what ARE my hopes and dreams for 2012?
Anyway, this was the original plan for my post… so what do I know I have to look forward to in 2012:
- Getting my paperwork (physical and digital) sorted… including my websites…
- Move PhD towards publication (with help from Martin Polley), along with other writing (including a book with @MarkHowe)
- Get lots of people involved in #BigRead12 with Tom Wright for Lent
- Working with @adamswbrown in getting the @bigbible site sorted, incorporating @biblefresh
- The Great South Run (October) and having fun down the gym
- Berlin with Erika, and seeing lots more of my friends, and working out more fun travel!
- Speaking engagements with CofE, in Dresden, with #DigiLocal (see here)
- Housegroup: Walks, The Scillies, Paralympics
- Greenbelt (August Bank Holiday)
- Conferences (they are fun!): Thinking Digital, PELECon12, ALTC12, CNMAC12, JISCEL12 (see 2011).
- Enjoying my Winchester work: JISC projects, training, teaching
Iâll probably remember more, but for now… letâs get some fresh air!!
Well done you!
Depression is heavy going, and Iâm glad you sought help. In 2011, I managed to come off my anti-anxiety medication totally and halve my depression medication. This for me was a huge step. I know that I will never “recover” as depression can reoccur at any time, but I will be able to continue to be me and to live a more enjoyable life. Accepting you have this illness is the first step to learning to live with it!
I wish you all the best for 2012, and I sincerely hope you do take more time to relax and to treat yourself. Try Groupon for last minute deals on treats that are just for YOU!
I am terribly proud of you Bex! xx
Thanks Charly… and also to others who throughout this year have supported me in so many different ways. Bit more ‘shitâ to get through in 2012… but every day making steps to move forward!
With my boyfriendâs support, I have been edging towards Winchester, slowly but surely. It is one of my many goals in 2012 to meet you for a coffee and a catch up, but it might not be until the summer!!
Glad to hear you took some time off over Xmas, Bex. I recognise some of what you mention (e.g. getting paperwork and website sorted out!)
It looks like youâve got lots of lovely plans for 2012 - thatâs something I need to get sorted out, as Iâve realised having a plan would help to make life simpler.
Have a wonderful New Yearâs Eve, and I look forward to catching up with you in 2012!
Looking forward to seeing you closer to Winch Charly! And Julia, yes … looking forward to catching up 2012 ð
I have already sorted out my kitchen cupboards/defrosted the freezer!!
Just seen on another blog:.. the danger of new year resolutions in having ‘too much faith in your future selfâ
“Iâll skip the gym today, but Iâm sure Iâll go tomorrow. Iâll put this on my credit card today, but no more shopping for a month. I donât want to get started on the project now, but Iâll tackle it first thing in the morning. The more people have faith in their futures selves, the more likely they are to indulge today. In fact, just knowing youâll have the chance to choose again tomorrow increases the chance youâll choose habit or vice today.”
http://www.danpink.com/archives/2012/01/how-to-make-a-new-years-non-resolution?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter